BL Novels

A week had passed since the incident, and every day was a struggle. As time marched on, he felt trapped inside himself, an endless cycle of nothingness and unable to break free. Nightmares haunted him during the few hours of sleep he managed to get.

Did that make him weak? The fact he couldn’t suck it up and move on tormented him more than the actual deed. What’s done is done, and you can’t change the past. So why did he still feel like he’s drowning?

At the moment, he was cuddled under a blanket on the couch at Vince’s place. He slumped into the cushions, sinking deeper and deeper as he stared mindlessly at the TV. Its flashing lights entranced him, calming his frenzied thoughts.

“You’re still here?”

Jaesung glanced up to see Trace staring down at him. “You look like you got ran over by a car.”

“I—what did you just say to me?”

Trace plopped down beside him. “It means you look like shit.”

Dumbstruck, Jaesung could only sputter out gibberish. “I know what it means, asshole!”

“Then why did you ask?” Oblivious to his fuming friend, Trace pulled some of the blanket out from under him and wrapped it around himself. “Can you pass me the remote? I hate watching reality TV.”

As much as Jaesung wanted to argue, having Trace there was probably the distraction he needed. Wallowing in self-pity wasn’t getting him anywhere, he knew that, but dragging himself out of the cage he locked himself in was hopeless. It was so easy to do nothing.

Hours passed as they sat together, neither uttering a word. Some old cartoon from when he was a child played in the background. Trace’s head was tilted back, and he snored so loud that it was impossible to understand anything from the TV.

The moment Jaesung closed his eyes, the front door opened, and he startled as it struck the wall. Rowdy voices soon followed. If those assholes put a hole in that wall again, and Jaesung had to fix it, he was going to lose his mind.

“Yo, Jdawg! You’re here!” said Feng. His overly excited tone grated on his ears.

“I was just about to leave.” Jaesung stood. “Wait, what did you just call me?”

Feng ignored him and lunged, only to be tackled back into the couch by Feng. His back slammed into Trace’s, and a loud cuss word left the shut-ins mouth. Bony arms dug into his side, and for a split second, Jaesung thought he snapped one.

“Fuck. Get off of me! You’re heavy, Feng. Holy shit!”

“We brought back pizza, if you’re hungry,” Jett intervened.

“It has everything on it. I don’t want to hear any of you bitch about it.” Vince came from behind and haphazardly dropped the boxes of food on the table. “This is for all your hard work lately.”

“Hard work, huh? Don’t you mean thanks for doing all the work and making you look good?” asked Jett.

“No one asked you,” replied Vince.

“I call dibs!” Feng jumped up, kneeing Jaesung in the stomach, before crashing into Jett on his way to the food.

“Fuck!” Unable to breathe properly, Jaesung rolled over on the couch and coughed. “You’re finished when I catch you!”

Trace, who had been oddly quiet until then, sat up. “Vince, did you get my cheese pizza with extra pepperoni?”

“Don’t worry, short stuff. I didn’t forget about your weird ass taste in pizza.”

Even though Trace had just been assaulted, literally and figuratively, that simple sentence brought him back to life. He nearly tripped over the blanket and face planted into the coffee table.

Everyone crowded around, stuffing their faces and laughing. For the first time all week, Jaesung finally felt normal again. It was a sentiment he missed, the nostalgia of it all calming in ways he didn’t expect. Because of their busy schedules, they couldn’t always have meals together, making the times they did even more enjoyable.

They were the family he never wanted, but got stuck with anyway.

Then, as if to cut out all hope, his cellphone vibrated in his pocket. His hunger disappeared in an instant, replaced by a sickening bitterness in his stomach. Seeing that name flash on his screen caused his heart to race. Is this how it was going to be from now on? Was he a dog to a master, a slave to a human?

He picked up the call, hands shaking, but voice steady. “Hello?”

“I got another job for you.”

Jaesung knew he’d have to become stronger if he wanted to survive.